White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
