youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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