So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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