i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
