I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Who died my cat blue again?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
