new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
