Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
