My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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