week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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