This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
