Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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