My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
