The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
