never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
