Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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