this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
