Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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