I just made out with a guy for $7.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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