We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
God I need to hump something, right now.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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