I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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