if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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