Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
