dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
My pussy is not your playground.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
