even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
