i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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