Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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