**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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