you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
