i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
