i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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