Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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