The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
