i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
