You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
