she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
