a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
