remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
