Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Watching her eat just hurts me
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
