This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
