Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
