I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
