Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
this is an emotional support booty call
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
