everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
