I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
