Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
