I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
