Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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