Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
