Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
