I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
