Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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